Lyric and Commitment

This morning on the way to work a poem/lyrics formed in my brain. I don't know how much I even like it, or if its even good, but its better to write it down than to just pass it off as trash (I'd like to think it has at least something redeeming). What came to me goes as thus (in a very rough draft):
I'm tired of your tired refusal, to just accept the facts,
you know that you're wrong, and I know that you're wrong,
nobody is winning anymore,
this won't be one of those cute stories,
filled with fluff and faeries,
because here we stand in the gritty reality,
where nothing ever changes, another wasted day.

Its somewhat a stream of consciousness, attempting to sort through some subliminal thought. I don't feel that its complete, but I think it's trying to say something. I imagine it really is talking about refusal to change, and problems with committing to a long term goal, something greater than nothing.

A little bit on the same subject, today I've decided I'm ready to commit. I think as of late I've had commitment issues (and probably always will). Not relationship commitment issues, but life issues. Right now I'm basically uncommitted in just about everything except for being married which is very important to me (one anchor in a windswept sea). As far as life issues go though, there isn't much I'm committed in. I work in a dead end job, in which I can't permanently remain there and be able to support life in the long run. It isn't something I could be happy in for the rest of my life, period. Yes, I know work isn't necessarily supposed to be pleasurable, enjoyable, or fun, but even if its none of the above, it should lead somewhere. Dead end jobs are ridiculous.

I think some of my problem is that I become too comfortable being mediocre. I have issues with the word comfortable, because it seems to be one of my main objectives within this life. It is just fine and dandy to want to be comfortable, but when you don't get out of your shell anymore it becomes a major issue. I often find myself falling into this position, this lull of pacification, this mediocrity. To be comfortable to the point of non-progression is dangerous. It becomes stifling and immobilizing. It is depressing.

Currently I'm too comfortable in many things. First comes church. I'm far too comfortable being the lazy idiot who only bothers to go to one meeting, and don't put out any effort to do what I'm really supposed to do. Amazingly I'm actually doing fine on tithing this year, and I haven't missed a week yet, but everything else leaves something to be desired. I haven't made any effort to meet anyone in the ward (which would help), go to priesthood meeting, fulfill my calling as a home teacher, or do anything that takes ANY effort period. Church is something that I need to recommit myself to, otherwise I'll end up getting nowhere with it.

School is something else I need to recommit myself to. I am tired of working this two bit job, and in order to go back to school it will take some sacrifice. I won't be able to buy all of these movies, these books, these games. In reality they really aren't important; 50, even 10 years from now they may be obsolete (does that make me obsolete? I hope not). Is there momentary enjoyment worth it? To an extent yes, they do help me relax and cool down, but for heavens sake, I could be getting a degree instead of watching someone else be rich. I'm a huge consumer, which in this consumer society just makes others rich. Of course, there is no point in being rich if you don't consume at least a little. Anyway, I'm getting off on a tangent, this isn't my point. I will always buy these sorts of things, because I ENJOY these things, and they make my life more pleasurable. What I just need to commit to is the idea that if I hold off for now, it will be better later. It's a true statement, I just have a hard time committing to the principle (which needs to change).

When it comes to writing, as of I've said previously here, I am not lacking in ideas. I am lacking in execution, in committing to the story enough to sit down and write it. It is what I need to do, these stories will die with me, and I'd prefer that they didn't die. I need to commit to writing, to telling these stories, so I'm not the only one who can enjoy them, and so that people can hear what I have to say, who I was, what I was about.

In order for me to succeed I need to recommit myself to life, and to living my life like I'd like it to be lived. Choices and commitments that in mediocrity I am unwilling to make need to be made.

I am not someone lacking in passion or motivation. I am someone lacking in commitment, and I must change, I must commit to living life, and not be someone who is comfortable letting it pass me by.

Rabbits

I enjoy rabbits, and they have been on my mind as of late. They are one of my favorite animals, and I miss having one, so maybe, just maybe I'll get one. I could use it for the garden I plan to plant, and rabbits are always enjoyable to have out and about in the yard hopping around. I usually like the rex variety of rabbits best, their fur is amazing. It is also the season to get a rabbit, especially with the early Easter coming up. We just will have to see what happens when the time comes.

Movie Picks 2007

In light and in spirit of the academy awards that happened this evening, I've decided to sit down and pick the best and worst movies I saw for the movie year of 2007. So, lets start with what I consider is the worst movie I saw last year:

Suckiest Film - Evan Almighty
For the most part, I like Steve Carrell, and I usually like the films he is in. But for me, this movie was a resounding disaster. I HATED THIS FILM, which is rarity for me. I thought the execution of the movie was wretched, and the story left me wanting. I wish I hadn't seen it. So, with the greatest of respect for the filmmakers who decided to create this utter drivel, I humbly award Evan Almighty with my Suckiest Movie Film of 2007 award.
Runner up: Spiderman 3

Best Fantasy Film - Stardust
For me by far the best fantasy film of 2007 was Stardust hands down. I enjoyed the whole movie. It definitely had its cornier moments, but being a romantic/fantasy/comedy, those will exist and are perfectly tolerable. I recommend this movie, and feel it deserves my Best Fantasy Film acknowledgement.
Runners up: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, The Golden Compass

Best Romantic Comedy - Music and Lyrics
I'm a Hugh Grant fan, and I've liked almost every movie I've seen him in. Music and Lyrics was no exception. I especially enjoyed the fabricated 80's pop featured as background for Hugh's character. I loved this film.

Best Drama - There Will Be Blood
Daniel Day-Lewis always does an amazing job, and he did another amazing job in this movie. But it wasn't only him, the movie was packed with great acting jobs from the entire cast. Visually the movie is stunning, and real depth is created by the Jonny Greenwood score. This film I recommend highly.

Best Sequel - Live Free or Die Hard
Yes, the movie isn't completely realistic, but that isn't why you go to an action movie. You go to an action movie to see action, and this movie had plenty. It was good to see Bruce Willis reprise the role of John McClane. Hopefully there will be another one.

Worst Sequel - Spiderman 3
This was another movie that was a major disappointment. Going into the movie I assumed that it would have held to the same standards as the previous two (the cast and crew remained much the same), but it wasn't so. I left this movie with a bad taste in my mouth. The entire middle portion of the movie was pathetic, and Spiderman's "evil" persona was even more pathetic. I can't believe they're going to make more, let us just hope that they will be better.
Runner up: Evan Almighty

Best Period Piece - Elizabeth the Golden Age
I really enjoyed the first Elizabeth, and it was no different for me for this second helping. The costume designs were superb, the cinematography gorgeous, and the acting most excellent. Go see this one, but watch the first one first.
Runners up: The Wind that Shakes the Barley, Sweeney Todd

Best Musical - Sweeney Todd
I've never partaken of Sweeney Todd on stage, but I rather enjoyed this adaptation by Tim Burton. The movie was visually entertaining, and the dark palette of colors was very suiting to the production. If you enjoy Tim Burton's work, or Johnny Depp's for that matter, see this film.

Best Independent Film - Once
This film came as a surprise to me, and unfortunately I was unable to see it in theaters. Upon its release I purchased the movie, and fell in love with it. I am a great fan of Irish Cinema, and this piece of cinematic poetry should be held in great esteem.

Best Comedy - Hot Fuzz
I loved Hot Fuzz, just like I loved Shaun of the Dead. Peggy, Frost, and Edgar as usual were right on with this film. I feel that it is the perfect infusion of action/comedy, and the timing in this movie to me verged on flawless. I really loved this film.

Best Film - There Will Be Blood
I've pretty much given my praise under the best drama heading, but just to repeat myself, this movie was fantastic.

So, that pretty much somes up my favorite and least favorite films of the past year. If I come up with anymore movie opinions, I'll be pretty sure to throw them down here.